Hellllllloooooooo!!! You guys!! This silence on the blog has been going on way. too. LONG!! I've had so many posts I've been needing to write, but it seems like so much has happened since my last post and I was too overwhelmed with catch-up. I'm sorry!!!! I promise I will get more posts from our summer up on the blog.
So many of you may be wondering why aren't we in China. As of August 24th, we were supposed to be living in Nanjing, Blake would've been going to school at Nanjing University and doing an internship while I would have been teaching English, but as we have learned these past few months, things change!
WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!
What the heck, right? It just goes to show that when you're making a life plan, write it in pencil!!! :)
The story:
Alright, I realize this is a weird topic to talk about, but it's gotten to the point where it's weirder for me to see people I know and have them ask "Why aren't you in China?" So I'm hoping that this post will prevent me from having to tell the story another thousand times. Alright! Let's begin!
So I think it all kind of started with when I was first married and first on birth control pills. Normal, hormonal birth control options were really hard on me. Not only did they make me super emotional, after just a few months of using them I started to experience really scary side effects, so after a few months my Dr. suggested I try other, non-hormonal options. Well, as many of you know, there aren't a lot of other non-hormonal options out there!!
So I did some research and asked around, and finally came to the decision that, because we were going to be living abroad, I wanted something that I wouldn't really have to ever think about, and something that would be easy, effective and last a long time, at least until we were back and both of us had finished our schooling. My Dr. recommended the Copper IUD so that's what I went with. It worked for about six months.
Then it was July, and I was really, really late. To set my mind at ease, I took a home pregnancy test, which then led many more home pregnancy tests, a frantic call to my Dr. and an emergency appointment on the 4th of July followed by a million blood tests. (okay, 3, but when you're as terrified of needles as I am, you get to exaggerate!)
The next part is really hard for me to talk about, and I know it's probably all the hormones coursing through my body but I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I was feeling so many different emotions and, don't get me wrong, Blake is an amazing husband and he has been there for me through every step of this crazy journey, but I still felt so alone.
The Copper IUD, or Paragard, is supposed to be 99.4-99.6% effective, so pregnancy is extremely rare on this kind of birth control. When pregnancy does occur, the IUD has to be removed very quickly, or it could cause problems such as infertility, miscarriage and even death to the woman. Because Blake and I were traveling at the time, I didn't get my IUD out immediately upon finding out, and I had to wait until we were back in town. Because of that, my Dr. told me that I had an extremely high chance of miscarriage.
This was so hard for me to deal with at that time, Not only was it a month before our grand adventure to China, but we also weren't done with our degrees, and we had no jobs or housing lined up for the fall if we chose to stay here. I felt really angry that this was happening to me. I was having frequent panic attacks for weeks after we found out. I had nightmares about going to the ER. I felt weird grief for the baby I never knew but my doctor assured me I had lost. I didn't tell my family, I had crazy anxiety even thinking about it. It was a very difficult time for me.
After a few weeks we had a scheduled ultrasound to make sure it wasn't an ectopic or molar (yikes!) pregnancy, and the weirdest thing happened. There was a healthy baby growing! I remember it was so small on the screen, just a tiny little bean thing inside of a tiny black circle, but I saw, ACTUALLY SAW its little heart beating. Our baby was alive! It had somehow beat the odds! Later my Dr. congratulated us, but told me that if I felt any pain to go to the ER. By that time, he said the odds were better for our baby, not as drastically stacked against it like before, but we still had a natural chance of miscarriage within the first trimester.
Fast forward through a few long weeks of morning sickness and here we are, in the second trimester and expecting our baby in March. It's crazy how life can change so quickly!
Now when people find out, the most common thing they ask is how I feel about it now. I'M STOKED! WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!! Yes, at first I was not totally on board, just because there were so many unknowns and it was such a shock, but now I'm just excited to start our family.
The truth is, I've wanted to be a mom WAYYY longer than I've ever had the desire to live in China. It's just been this past year that we were making preparations and plans to live abroad, but I've been preparing my whole life for motherhood, and I couldn't be more excited. And besides, China isn't going anywhere, we have the rest of our lives to visit, but now we can share it with our new baby. :)
Thanks for reading guys! Again sorry for the silence! If ya'll have any other questions, feel free to ask in the comments, email me or message me on facebook! I love you guys! :)
